Tag Archive | emotions

Consistent Inconsistencies Part 2 FINAL

Do you ever over-explain yourself because you feel like people don’t get it or get you? It’s true, though. I see the look on some people’s faces and I think to myself, “This person doesn’t get it and if they do they are as blank as an unwritten check.” There are emotions in me I […]

What is this?

How do you explain to others that you just want to curl up and die but you don’t want to be dead? The thought of death is simply just wanting things to go away without having to explain why. I want to climb down into a hole and be left alone but I don’t want […]

He Promised (Part 2) Final

He was an amazing father, lousy husband.  I wanted him to know how it felt to work and be a full-time parent. I wanted him to sit and wonder when I was going to walk through the door. I wanted tears to roll down his face when he was sitting at home alone painting pictures […]

He Promised (Part 1)

He promised he would try harder. He promised that things would be better. So when that phone call from a friend came in, I was devastated. “Tonia, I saw him today with that girl. I saw him kiss her in YOUR car!” My heart dropped. This is the last time he will cheat on me. I gather […]

Where’s the Starving Fat Lady?

I want to jump into where I’ve been and what I have been doing and the reason for my absence quickly. So let’s begin. Depression is nasty. It debilitates you and leaves you numb, causing you to separate yourself from life, family, and friends.  The devil entered my life at a point where I felt […]

Failing Success

Failing Success

You’d think a wake up call would magically appear and scream, “Get your ass in gear!” Why can’t I just eat what I want? What I’m used to? When I was younger I remember binge eating and then telling myself, “OK, that was a lot so for the next few days you can’t eat nearly […]

Two Pieces of Clothing and The Devil Himself

It starts in the dressing room and two pieces of clothing… I slide my shirt over my head and pull it down over my curves. Wait. This is a T-SHIRT, right? I take it off and look at the size. XXL. How the hell is it so short? They are charging $2 extra for plus size […]

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How To Not Hate My Husband

Experiments and thoughts on how not to hate my husband after his 2+ year affair with my best friend (ex)