“Tonia? Are you listening to what I’m telling you? You have high blood pressure and hypothyroidism. Do you get what can happen?”
Yes, Doc. I get it. The more fitting question would be, “Am I going to do anything about it?” Seriously, c’mon. It’s just high blood pressure. Some people have lived with high blood pressure most of their lives! And hypothyroid? HA! Not a big deal! I brush off what he says and grab my jacket. “See yah next week”, I holler as I rush out of the office. I reach my car and sit with my hands on the steering wheel. I’m 30. I can totally outlive this. It’s nothing because nothing can happen to me. I light up a cigarette, start the car, and head to the pharmacy for the first round of medication.
The blood pressure is NOT going down. I’ve cut down on salt! Cut back on cigarettes! I’ve been taking my medications everyday as prescribed! Back to the doctor I go. I face the nurse nervously. “Tonia, I will need you to step on the scale.” I feel a small panic attack coming on and I know that if I tell her, she won’t understand. This dreaded scale! I look down and smiling up at me are the numbers 215. Four more pounds gained. WHAT? HOW? But…..oh, what’s the use. As I walk down the hallway to my lecture chamber, I can hear the doctor already. “Tonia lose weight. Tonia you will die. Tonia you have to stop. Tonia this is your wake up call. Tonia. Tonia. TONIA!” I round the corner into the room and wait. Finally he enters, shakes my hand, sighs and smiles. Oh Lord! It’s like my father telling me about the birds and the bees! Here it comes!
“You already know. If things don’t change, they will get worse and it will be harder. I want to increase your blood pressure and depression medications.” Well, I guess with an increase, blood pressure will go down and depression will get better, right? Maybe with my depression treated I can stop smoking, stop eating, stop….oh Tonia. Just stop.”
Out the door and back to the pharmacy. Again. What does this health-nut, mister do-good doctor know about being fat anyways? HA! He can’t tell ME how to be happy! He doesn’t know my body! After this refill is done I am going to McDonalds! That’ll teach em.